I had the most surreal, unexpected experience this week. While lots of other things are going wrong lately, this one thing was so incredible, I can't even think about it without getting choked up. I'm in shock, in awe, and overjoyed. Why? Get comfortable and I'll tell you.
There was this friend of mine, someone I have known for thirty years. We worked together for ten years during my first real job. He later went into business on his own, and after a number of years making his way, he mentored me through the training I needed to join him in that business. I eventually changed my mind because it was far from a nine-to-five job and I recognized I'm pretty much a nine-to-five personality. Anyway, he was someone who was around in my life through all through those early adult years when you're getting married, having kids, getting divorced, changing jobs, etc. If I had to characterize the relationship, I'd say we were pretty good friends. Not close friends, like the kind you should only have 2 or 3 of, but good friends, like the kind you have maybe 8 or 10 of if you're lucky. You talk to them fairly frequently, see them four or five times a year, exchange birthday and Christmas cards and know each others' middle names.
But I haven't talked to him since 2004. That was the year he was in a severe car accident that, I heard through mutual friends, had left him comatose, on life support. There was a lot of talk of him during that time, people asking questions and sharing news, shaking heads, what-a-shame-ing.
Months later, I learned that he had "improved" and was now in a semi-conscious but mostly vegetative state in a nursing home. I called his wife a few times and sent a note once, each time letting her know I was thinking of them both and hoping things were better. Most recently, about a year ago, I had to call his office on a business matter and spoke with a young man there I wasn't acquainted with. I gingerly put forth the question: "How is Joe*doing?" and heard that he was "Pretty much the same, this is probably the way it's going to be for good." I really never expected to see him or talk to him again, and wondered how his kids and wife had coped with this the last five years.
Then, this past Monday, I got an e-mail from him. Perfectly written. He even joked around a little, asking if I understood why he hadn't been in touch? He also said he plans to be at an upcoming reunion of employees from our former workplace.
It took me a few hours to compose myself in order to be able to write back. It felt exactly as if I had been contacted by a ghost, someone I thought was gone from this realm, someone that I'd expected never to hear from again. But I did write back that night and told him how amazed I am to hear from him, to see his name at the bottom of an e-mail, to know he isn't lost to me after all. I also told him what my impression of his condition had been, and how sorry I was that I didn't know I could have talked to him sooner. We exchanged a few more e-mails during the week, and I learned that much of the details about the accident and its aftermath were true. He does have brainn damage and it has severely affected his speech and balance. He talks with difficulty and uses a wheelchair. But he is very much conscious, living at home with his wife and family, and getting on with his life.
He called today and I didn't recognize the number on the caller ID but it was local so I picked up. As soon as I heard his voice, I became very emotional. I told him right away that I didn't want to lose another opportunity to tell him how great a guy I think he is, how he impacted my life in good ways, and how overjoyed I am to be able to communicate with him again. We talked about family events, jobs, friends in common, the upcoming reunion. In all, about 45 minutes. It was hard to understand him at times, much like listening to someone with stroke-affected speech, but the same sound of his voice was there, his humor was there, his memory of past events was there, HE was there.
IS there.
How absolutely awesome is that?
* Name changed to protect privacy
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